


Beautiful Problems

by melancholicpie



Series: Pretty When I Cry [1]
Category: Harry Potter and the Cursed Child - Thorne & Rowling
Genre: Angst, Eventually I mean, Family Rivalry, Fluff, Hard on angst, Hurt, M/M, Muggle AU, Rivalry, Toxic relationship w/ family, first person POV
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-18
Updated: 2018-12-18
Packaged: 2019-09-22 08:13:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17056139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melancholicpie/pseuds/melancholicpie
Summary: The Potters and The Malfoys are rivals. Albus and Scorpius shouldn't have anything to deal with it.Except now they do.





	Beautiful Problems

I remember the first thought that occurred me when I first saw Scorpius: “he is beautiful.” 

I didn’t know I was gay back then, but when I think of it now it feels very obvious. That was my very first thought: he was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen in my life and I really wanted to keep him around at all cost – just so I could see his face all the time.

I knew who he was from start – and even though I know it’s stupid, I figured out because of his hair. No one has hair like that except the Malfoys. I knew them very well since my Family would never shut up about how much they hated Malfoys. Honestly I hated them as well, but then this really small boy with huge blue eyes and pink cheeks, lips and ears, full of pints on snow-white skin offered me a place to sit, next to him, during breakfast in my first morning in a fancy new school.

He asked me about Marvel, if I liked the X-Men and which were my favorite superheroes. He was nothing like I thought a Malfoy would be.

When I look back now I wonder how did I not understand I fell in love at instance. That platonic feeling every eleven-year-old get when they meet someone who’s just too cool. Scorpius has ever been the coolest boy I know. I fell in love with him before I could possibly understand what love was.

 

...

 

At the age of 13 Scorpius' mother died and I've never thought I could hurt so much just by watching someone else's pain.

Scorpius was inconsolable, sobbing while telling me that all happened very suddenly: his mother was there in the morning, but when the night came she was gone. He couldn't explain what happened, he said, 'she just went out to buy some seeds to her garden' but then his father came to tell him something very bad happened to her. Mr. Malfoy did not tell Scorpius how his mother died and Scorpius did not find the courage to ask any further questions.

I think that was the first time I realized how incredibly fragile Scorpius can get. Because all the bullying in the school, all the rumors about his family, all the things he puts up with since forever don't seem to reach him at all. At the most he cries a bit when it happens - when he hears a mean comment, when someone pushes or punches him, when he feels tired of people avoiding him - but soon enough he's back on his feet.

When Scorpius' mom died I didn't thought he would ever come back to be the same boy I knew - for two years at this point. I thought he'd get cold and distant. I thought Scorpius would push me away. I just made sure I was by his side in case he needed me. I really would rather be in pain in his place. I told him that once or twice.

I couldn't breathe when I sat by him on his bed while he soaked the pillow with tears. I couldn't breathe while I was lying by his side, just watching his body shake. I definitely couldn't breathe when he came closer and took himself into my embrace - when I thought he probably would not even want me there. I couldn't breathe the entire night after he fell asleep in my arms - I was afraid of waking him up and bringing the pain back. 

...

When we were 15 I told Scorpius I thought I was gay and what he said was "oh." 

I was as nervous as a person could possibly be and I didn't know how he'd react. I thought of all kinds of bad reactions, I thought he's leave me, he'd want to step away and I'd lose him - even so, I had to tell him. There were no such things as secrets between us. I was ready for the painful awkwardness. 

And then Scorpius said "oh." 

I had no idea what that meant. Was that a bad thing? Did he care? Did he not? "Oh?" 

"I-" he began and stopped "I don't-" one more time "ok," said at last. 

"Ok?" I repeated "You don't seem very... surprised?" 

He gave this a thought. "Not to be disrespectful Al, I never thought of you as a straight guy." 

"Excuse me?" 

"I mean I am kind of surprised you thought I didn't know." 

"Oh?" 

"I just thought..." he hesitates "Forget it. It's stupid. I don't... I..." he tries again - and fails "Thank you for telling me, I know this is important." 

"What is it, Scorp?" 

"I just - I always thought we were kind of... that you were into... me?" 

And how could he possibly know this? I haven’t told anyone at all, I made sure I was discrete, I couldn't even bring myself to tell my journal that much, in case someone decided to steal it. "Of course not, we are friends. Just... best friends. I'm into being... your... friend." 

He didn’t look so happy to hear that - but this couldn’t mean what I thought it meant. It definitely couldn’t mean what I wanted it to mean. Scorpius just nodded. He's still not quite happy and I couldn’t believe I was allowing myself to think that maybe - just maybe - he had a thing for me too. The thing in this case is called burning passion and absolute obsession. This couldn’t be because why someone as cool and beautiful as Scorpius would be interested in me? 

Before I could ask, though, Rose arrived telling us about the latest girl she hooked up with in the library. Scorpius gave her his full attention. The subject died.

... 

When Scorpius was sixteen he told me he came out to his father and his grandparents and that the situation went badly. He left for the holidays break and came back openly gay - much to no one's surprise. 

He told me I gave him courage, but things did not went well at all. He told every little bad thing his grandfather said. He told me at least his father was on his side, even when he gave Scorpius the strangest look. 

I told him everything would be alright, he told me he hoped I was right. I too hoped I was right. 

But then I wasn't and things got weird. People at school were even more bully, the gossiping and whispering more intense, Scorpius was more and more apathetic and I didn't know what to do. I wanted him to know that I loved him nevertheless, but I couldn't see how this would help the situation. 

"It's ok," he kept saying "Everything is ok." 

Except it wasn't, and I didn't know what to do to make it better. So I told him "I love you," one of those nights while his head was on my shoulder and he didn't seem to have any strength left. 

"I love you too," he answered with hardly any voice. 

"No I - I meant I love you," I forced myself to say "I - I really, really love you." 

He chuckled. "I love you too, Al." 

"No, Scorp... you don't... I mean I'm in love with you. I... you are so awesome and I tried not to but... I really -" I didn't know why I was saying this but soon it wasn't important. 

It wasn't important because Scorpius pushed himself up with his elbows and kissed me. He kissed me on the lips. Then our mouths were open. Then our tongues were touching. 

It wasn't my first kiss, because my first kiss happened when I was trying to like girls at the age of twelve and I kissed a girl called Briana I think. And after that, when I was fourteen I kissed a boy who's name's Chuck and I was sure I was into boys. 

I think it was Scorpius’ first kiss, because he not ever told me about someone he kissed. "I love you too, Al," he whispered half-smiling when pulled away and went back to lay on my shoulder. This was the first time I allowed myself to openly think of how incredibly in love with Scorpius I was. 

After that we were dating. Kind of and then definitely. 

If I knew back then in how many different ways my heart would break because of this very boy, I would still do everything I did.

**Author's Note:**

> This is actually the skeleton of a thing I intend to create in the future, so don't mind it so much. 
> 
> I'm very aware it sucks, thank you very much, but I really just sketched that because I need to do a thing with this thing and... well. Not really a fic rn, I'm just testing some stuff.


End file.
